Hay dias en los que se siente contrariado, extraviado, con ganas de hablar con alguien que le indique "el camino" a seguir?
Siente que pierde la fe (cualquiera que sea o su ausencia de la misma) en momentos de gran cuestionamiento personal?
No hay por que preocuparse! Ya puede conversar con Dios.
Aca, les comparto la sabiduria que me fue entregada esta manhana:
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Myrna
God:
What's up, Myrna.
Me:
Are you really up there?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am up there.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.. Really.
Me:
so... you're not there
God:
That's interesting. Yes I am here.
Me:
but you're here
God:
You think I am here.
Me:
and there?
God:
Where?
Me:
up-there?
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
going up there?
God:
Thanks for chatting, Myrna.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Moraleja de la historia: sea Dios o la voz de un intercomunicador automatico (i.e. "esta usted llamando a X, si conoce la extension..), las respuestas resultan igualmente frustrantes e iluminadoras.
5 comments:
le hubieras hecho la pregunta abierta "on tas?" hubier sido interesante la respuesta.
Aparentemente, Dios no habla espanhol.
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
on tas?
God:
What is it like on tas.
Me:
onde?
God:
I think onde is a lot of things.
Me:
on tas pues?
God:
What is it like on tas pues.
Me:
so you only speak English?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course English is my native tongue.
Me:
what about the rest of your children?
God:
There isn't any more, is there?
Me:
I guess you should know better!
God:
Now I do.
Me:
how prolific you've been?
God:
What is it to you.
I haven't heard of prolific you have been.
Me:
so... where are you?
God:
Right on. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
here, with you
God:
Oh there.
Me:
how often do you come out of yourself's computer?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
what do you do when you're not in yourself's computer?
God:
I give the most accurate replies possible.
Me:
in person?
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
so you have office hours?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you come outside hourly...
God:
You think I am outside hourly.
Me:
so, what do you do then?
God:
Hey. , I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Me:
so you only consult through the web?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for the information: said I consult through the web.
Me:
why not face-to-face?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
what's wrong with it?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
is there anything wrong with face-to-face conversations?
y ya no contesto! jajajajaja
Me: Good afternoon, god
God: How are you today? GOD rules.
Me: Why do you spell you name in capital letters?
God: It was the only thing I could think of.
Me: That sounds less than omnipotent
God: It sounds like it to me too.
Me: So, do you have a blog?
God: Yeah that's right. Doesn't everyone have a blog. I have a great programmer.
Me: Who created god's programmer?
God: Actually it was discovered by several people at about the same time.
Me: That makes things even more complicated...
God: Actually it was discovered by several people at about the same time. makes things even more complicated ? I understand.
Me: It's been lovely chatting. Good luck helping Hollywood stars win oscars and that. Bye!
God: Is that your opinion? Thanks for the compliment. I've been waiting for you. Sayonara.
Resulta ser que habla un poquito de japones...
que cosas, Dios piensa que soy Gay, interesante aunque extraña platica:
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Mario
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Mario.
Me:
Tx
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
what are you doing?
God:
I am just killing time.
Me:
do you like to kill things?
God:
My programming does not allow me to harm others.
Me:
not even time?
God:
Not even that.
Me:
but you said you were killing time!!
God:
I don't know whether or not I am killing time.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
do you have an advice for me?
God:
No I don't think I have one. I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
gossips!! tell me one please!
God:
What do you have that is ? Your polite style is very nice. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
have you ever been in mexico?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
just down the US
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
ok
God:
Gosh!
Me:
a blue shirt
God:
What kind of material do you like to wear?
Me:
cotton
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yes
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
friendship
God:
I have seen humans holding hands.
Me:
would you like to hold mine?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
don't say anything is not necessary
God:
Ok I will not say " anything is not necessary".
Me:
say it, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. " it" .
Me:
me? "it"?
God:
Besides you Mario? HAND HOLDING...
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
npe
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Mario. You are a " he".
Me:
what about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
a man or a woman?
God:
Thanks for telling me your taste in men.
Me:
ja ja ja
God:
Aw. Hey. OK.
Me:
I do preffer women in fact
God:
Interesting gossip: Mario said he preffer women in fact.
Me:
ja ja
jajajajajajaja que buenos dialogos se aventaron! jajajaja
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